Sorry about this posting being late, had to catch up on all the tasks I've put on hold of recent weeks with Blog and Campaign. Nothing constructive to report as yet re: Campaign. Now on with posting.
Shane's whole family, not just me had accepted and embraced his drug addiction from day one, and he was loved heaps regardless of it, even when overly drug induced. That's not saying we accepted his drug abuse, in fact it concerned and saddened us because of the risks involved but we understood it was part of his addiction, therefore we didn't love him any less for it. Also the addiction hadn't altered or effected Shane's personality or nature, he was always caring, obliging, and respectful of us and others, so it wasn't difficult to overlook his addictive flaws and love him anyway. And that's the reason why his dad and I and his family had stuck by him all these years and never cast him out, because Shane was a nice, genuine guy, he wasn't an 'asshole' type person. Another reason was that Shane had nobody else in his life but us. That was mainly because Shane didn't trust a lot of people regarding his addiction, he felt they may judge or ridicule him for it. He knew we accepted him for what he was, so he felt safe and comfortable with us. Also the less people in his life meant fewer apologies he had to make for what his addiction may cause.
We were well into 2006 and although Shane was still employed, he was encountering work related problems so his employment at this stage was on very shaky ground. Apparently Shane and two other co-workers had been questioned about drug use in the work place. I didn't know the other two lads but it didn't surprise me about management being suspicious of Shane. He could be quite remiss regarding his drug abuse anyway, but of late it was the cocky attitude about it that I knew was enventually going to be his downfall. I guess the more you offend and get away with it, the more confident and cocky you get. I'd also quizzed him on occasions myself about using at work because of his drugged demeanour and his excuses for it were always the same. Paint thinners, lack of sleep or simply just not feeling well. The lack of sleep reason was semi acceptable because Shane did suffer from insomnia, but that was due to his drug taking anyway. It wasn't the Methadone though as that tended to make him blobby, it was all the other drugs like 'speed' and medications he used that kept him awake.
The reasons given for managements suspicions and him being questioned were so typical of a Shane excuse, but as usual almost believable. Shane attends the pharmacy twice a week to pick up his take home doses of Methadone and he is required to consume that days dose of Methadone in the pharmacy. So Shane was at the pharmacy and one of his co-workers had witnessed him consumming his dose of Methadone. Shane said at that point, he had no alternative but to acknowledge being on the programme when approached by this person, whom had promised him confidentiality, but obviously he hadn't. Because it wasn't long after this incident that Shane was accused of drug use in the workplace and questioned. He did accept that trusting another co-worker about The Methadone programme was a foolish mistake, in fact a real bad slip up for him.
Shane had vehemently denied the accusations when questioned of drug use in the workplace and having any knowledge to The Methadone programme. He told management that it was just a spiteful rumour and workplace gossip, in other words 'hearsay'. Shane was very clever and cunning when it came to his drugs, so I knew that management could question him for hours about his drug use or demeanour and they still wouldn't get the truth or right answers. He'd cleverly spin his web of deceit and rely on their gullibility and possible lack of drug knowledge.
My husband and I had retired in the May and were relocating back over to the Thames coast in the September to pursue our old coastal lifestyle. It was a move we'd yearned for since leaving Te Puru in 2003. Because of his employment commitment Shane was planning on staying behind in Pukekohe, but with this work related problem cropping up that plan could change. Although I was excited about our relocation to the coast I was also apprehensive about leaving Shane behind in Pukekohe to live on his own. That might sound smothering or being over protective of me, but it was the risks that Shane's drug abuse presented that was concerning me, especially if he'd used excessively. But he had two siblings and their families living in and around Pukekohe, so that eased my concerns a little.
Shane never really understood why his drug addiction effected us so much, he used to tell us constantly it was his problem, not ours. And as much as he loved us, I think at times, he felt belittled and angry with our involvement, especially mine. So I convinced myself that maybe it was a good thing to leave him behind in Pukekohe. It would give Shane the opportunity to once again take responsibility for his own life, and hopefully redeem his self worth. What will be, will be I told myself. Shane must walk out of the darkness of drug addiction soon.
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